Endless Rain
by My Loveless One
Summary: Ken gets upset and runs off into the pouring rain durring the rehearsal dinner for Hikari and Daisuke's wedding.. oneshot, one sided kensuke, daikari, taito and very slight daiken


Endless Rain, by My Loveless One.

I know I haven't really written a damn thing as of late.. so.. yeah. Here's something to keep you busy while I get off my lazy ass and fix up my other fanfics (both are getting re-written) and finish up the set of Digimon one-shots that my friend (after I told her something about them) has decided to call the 'if you don't love me- let me go' stories. Anyway.. this is a song-fic using the translation of the song Endless Rain by X-Japan. I was listening to the song and this story just came to me. Some parts are based heavily on the song.. and the translation comes from Chris' Katrin's X-Japan website. This is my first song-fic.. and there's much more fic than song.. so don't worry.. okay.. good.. heehee.. my spell check tells me I'm spelling 'okay' wrong.. I have to fix that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon Adventure: 02.. If I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction for it..

Warning: Slightly slashy (m/m)

Pairings: As I write this I am unsure of the ending.. so for now I'll just say one-sided Kensuke, Daikari and perhaps some Daiken later on. It also may have some hinted or not so hinted Taito...

This is an AU.. some characters may not know each other.

_-I'm walking in the rain,  
though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason.  
There is only nothing.  
Just kill me now ... as I roam forever.  
Until I can forget your love.-_

It was a glum morning in late October, rain fell heavily upon the muddy ground, people stayed inside their homes, there wasn't a single person in sight in the normally quite busy forest area.. and I ran. I was unsure as to where I was heading.. I just knew that I needed to be away. I wondered what I looked like that I had fled from my best friend's rehearsal dinner.. that I had fled in tears, after a brilliant outburst.. calling his.. I shudder at the word.. fiance a 'lowly little bitch'. Even if I knew it to be true, that didn't mean I needed to say it for all to hear.. in front of the man who loved her.. the man that I loved, Daisuke Motomiya.

The day had begun normally enough- wake up from one of my terribly unsettling nightmarish dreams, eat a small breakfast, and go to work. I had to get off from work early. I needed to go home to prepare for my night. I told myself all throughout the day at work that all I needed was to get through with this. That if I could get through with the rehearsal dinner, maybe the wedding wouldn't be so hard. Maybe I wouldn't collapse in tears when they said 'I do'... maybe I wouldn't die that day from a broken heart. I was wrong.. very wrong.

The dinner was early, it wasn't dark out, I arrived late, very late. On my way there I had decided I wouldn't go.. then I changed my mind. This happened many more times before I finally got there. I had to build up more courage to go inside. Daisuke was running over to me, Hikari following. My heart clenched and my mind raced.. my face was the perfect mask of happiness. "Ken! You're late!" He was smiling at me. He has a wonderful smile. I tried to smile back.. I was having some trouble. Luckily, Daisuke was so happy that he didn't seem to notice. "I can't believe the day is drawing so close.. I'm the happiest man on earth right now." He smile widened.

"That's wonderful, Daisuke.." once again I tried to give him a happy smile in return. Once again he didn't notice the difference. Hikari did.

"You don't seem so happy.." she said with false concern. Everything about her was false. I had discovered that about two years ago, when she found that I liked Daisuke. Hikari had laughed. She called me a faggot and told me to get the fuck away from _her _Daisuke. She didn't even love him.. not really. I could see it in her eyes.

"I'm very happy," my voice had grown cold. "Why wouldn't I be? After all.. my best friend is marrying a lowly little bitch!" My scream echoed throughout the room. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me. It was then that I had realized what I had done. I froze and looked at Daisuke. He looked as shocked as everyone else.. I knew once the shock wore off he would be furious. I swallowed hard. "I.. I'm... forgive me.." and with that I ran... into the rain. In nothing but my dress cloths to cover me.

_-To me sleep is a confusing, narcotic  
that only quiets the beating heart.  
All my love seems to flow from my body like a heart felt memory.  
I keep my love for you to myself._

_Endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul.  
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness,-_

I'm not sure when it happened exactly.. I must have passed out in the rain.. but.. somehow I fell asleep. I began to dream. In my dreams Daisuke loves me. He cares more deeply for me than he could ever for Hikari. In this dream we are lying in each other's arms after a night of passionate love making. He kisses my forehead softly as I drift in and out of sleep. ".. Ken..." he says my name in a way he has only ever reserved for Hikari. "Ken.. I love you..."

I smile, my eyes opening to at him as I speak, "and I love you.." his smile is brilliant as he leans foreword to kiss me. I do nothing to push away.. I love this attention. I return the kiss with vigor. He wraps his arms around my waist as we kiss. "Please," I whisper, "please.. when this is over.. promise me you'll still love me. Promise me that this isn't just some dream.."

He smiles reassuringly and kisses me again. "I will always love you.. just like I always have." This makes me happy and I don't say anything more for awhile. I just lay in his arms and try to fight off sleep. Something keeps telling me that this cannot be real, that if I fall asleep when I wake up it will not be in Daisuke's arms. That he will not really love me. Suddenly, Daisuke is shaking me lightly. "Hey.. hey.. wake up.. kid.. wake up..."

_-Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by.  
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me.  
You're just an illusion.  
When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep.  
I'm a rose blooming in the desert. -_

My eyes opened slowly and the fleeting image of Daisuke became a blond haired, blue eyed vision of beauty in cheap lighting. He saw that I had awoken and smiled. I could swear that he was an angel. "You're awake," he said in a silky voice. "Taichi! He's woken up!"

My eyes wandered to the door. A tall man stood in the door way, his spikey brown hair stood out in all directions. He had a friendly smile, kind brown eyes and tanned skin. He reminded me somewhat of Daisuke... and someone else. I stared at him for a good long while trying to figure out where I knew his face from. He approached me. "I'm glad to see you wake up.. you've been out for a few days.. you were lucky we found you when we did. You didn't have to go to the hospital or anything."

"..where am I...?" I asked. My voice seemed distant and my throat was scratchy.

"You're at our apartment," said the angel. "My name is Yamato Ishida.. this is Taichi Yagami." He pointed to the brown haired man.

"Yagami.." I spoke the surname out loud and my eyes widened. That's who he reminded me off. Hikari. Hikari Yagami. I had not realized that I spoke her name out-loud until Taichi's eyes widened.

"You know my sister!" I nodded. "..How.. how is she doing..?"

"She's getting married.." I said. Then thought.. if what they said about the time I had been out was true.. "what day is it..?"

Yamato answered, "November first." They were married. As of two days ago. I thought of Daisuke, married with _her_. My eyes filled with tears.

"..They're married..."

Taichi stood there in shock. "..Married.. and.. and she didn't even think to tell.." he laughed bitterly. "I guess my family hates me more than we thought." Tears were welling in the mans eyes. "..My baby sister is getting married.. and I didn't even know she was dating.."

Yamato bit his lip. He glanced at me quickly before embracing Taichi. He whispered something to the other man. Taichi nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry.." he whispered.

I shook my head. "..No.. I am not too pleased with the wedding either."

Taichi sighed. "..Enough about the wedding. I'd like to know why you were walking around in the rain..."

"..." I didn't answer. I wasn't sure what to tell him. It was obvious from the way he and Yamato acted around each other, and the estrangement from his family that Taichi and Yamato were lovers, or at least used to be.. but.. I was unsure how he would react to the way I acted around his sister.

When I didn't answer, Taichi just smiled. "It's okay. You can tell us when you're ready... you must be hungry. I'll go get you some food." He and Yamato left the room. I fell on to the bed they laid me on and fell back to sleep.

_-It's a dream, I'm in love with you.  
Hold me warmly in your arms.  
I awake from my dream  
I can't find my way without you-_

This time my dreams were not so pleasant. Daisuke stood before me. His eyes are filled with disgust and hatred. "...How could you say such things to Hikari.. how could you call her names.. when you.. you harbored such disgusting feelings for me? How can you live with yourself... knowing that you live such tainted and horrid life...?"

"Daisuke.. please.. listen to me..."

"NO! I never want to hear your voice again.. you're nothing more than a filthy little faggot.. I hate you. I don't even know why I ever liked you.. you're horrible.. you're.." his voice drifts and Daisuke disappears.

I am all alone now.. in a dark room. I lean against a wall, tears rimming my eyes, and begin to cry. I sit there sobbing against the wall until, to my utter surprise, I feel it move. It brakes open apart.. and I fall through. Below me are sharp stones, ready to pierce me, to kill me. And as I fell to my death I hear a voice. Daisuke's voice. "This is what you get.. for being what you are. Death.. and eternal damnation in Hell..." I woke up screaming.

-

Yamato and Taichi were there in an instant. "Hey.. are you okay?"

I blinked in surprise. "..I was falling.. he wanted me to fall.." I thought of Daisuke and considered the fact that maybe death would be better than facing him again. It frightened me.. that I could think like that.

Taichi sat on the bed. "..You were calling out.. for.. Daisuke.. are you two.. well... are you lovers?"

I smiled sadly. "..No.. he is with your sister.. I will never have him."

"Were you running away.. from him?" This time it was Yamato who spoke. "That night in the rain. Were your running from your problems? You couldn't take it anymore.. so you ran.."

"...I insulted his fiance in front of everyone at the rehearsal dinner," I told them. "I called her a bitch.. a lowly little bitch."

Taichi frowned. "..Why did you do that..?"

"Because she is. She doesn't deserve him!" I began to cry. "She'll never deserve him.. and yet.. she gets him."

"Do you suppose that you deserve him?" Yamato asked. Leaning close.

I laughed. "No.. how could I deserve such greatness when I can't let him go if he's happy? I don't think I've ever deserved Daisuke. I don't think I ever will.. but.. I love him. More than I have ever loved before. Daisuke.. Daisuke is special. He deserves the greatest of anything.. he deserves true love.. but he'll never want it from me.. I'm just a worthless little faggot.. just like Hikari said.. she was right.. faggot.. faggot.." I wasn't even thinking now, the words just fell from my lips. I felt like an automaton programmed to speak rubbish, speaking word after word not realizing what I was really saying.

Arms encircled me. Taichi was holding me to his chest. "You're not worthless.. if Daisuke became your friend.. then you could never be worthless.." I cried for awhile. I never cry in front of others.. my only tears come late at night.. but.. this time I could not hold them back.

When my tears died down Taichi smiled and pulled away from me. "Ya know.. when Yama and I told everyone.. about us.. being together.. Daisuke was one of the few people who didn't really freak. He said that he had guessed we were together.. then.. we left.. we couldn't be around anyone any more.. eventually I told my mother where she could contact us.. she never did.. but.. Daisuke doesn't know."

Yamato nodded. "I'm sure if he did he would have contacted us. You should tell him that you like him. Maybe he wont react as badly as you think.. and it'll do you wonders to get it off your chest."

I made up my mind. "..When I leave... I'll tell him." They smiled.

_-The dream is over.  
I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words.  
Floating off tear stained walls.  
So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...  
until I can forget your love.-_

I stayed with Taichi and Yamato for a few more days, I was sick and needed my strength back, and left with their number and the memories of two new friends. They told me to call them whenever I needed help.. or if I just wanted to call. I was happy for that. They gave me confidence to do what I needed to.

My first stop when I left their place was to go to Daisuke and Hikari's apartment. I hoped they would be back from the honeymoon by now. I couldn't remember how long they would be gone. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. I heard noises from the inside. Daisuke answered.

"Ken.. you.. you're okay!" In an instant his arms were around me. I blushed at the contact... and wondered if my more treasured dreams had come true. He pulled away. "..I was so worried.. we.. we looked everywhere for you.. the.. the wedding was called off until you were found.. where were you..?"

"..I was walking in the rain," I whispered. "I couldn't stand to see you with her.." I looked him in the eyes. "..Daisuke.. I need to talk with you.. please.."

"Come in.." he said softly. Daisuke led me into the apartment. I took off my shoes and walked with him to his couch. We sat in silence for some time. He looked at me questioningly. I bit my lower lip and thought of how I should begin. My mother always told me that actions spoke louder than words. I considered kissing him.. but.. figured it may freak him out.. so I just said it.

"..I love you..." the words fell off my lips and into a shocked silence. Daisuke just stared at me for what seemed like forever, so I continued to speak. "I've loved you for a long time.. and.. Hikari and you don't belong.. so when I was there that night.. seeing you with her... knowing that you would be married to her in such a short time.. I freaked. I ran out into the rain.. I ran for a long while.. and collapsed near a small house just outside of a tiny forest. I was found my two kind men.. who know you.. Taichi and Yamato.." I told him about my time spent with them, about my dreams, about what they said to me.. and finally.. Daisuke smiled.

"You love me..?" He asked in shock. "..I never knew.." he peered at my worried expression. "..I'm not mad. But.. you know that we can't be together.. I'm with Hikari.. maybe if I weren't.. then.. I'm not sure..." he frowned.

"Daisuke.. I know that you shouldn't do this.. but.." I swallowed and decided to take my mothers advice. I kissed him. Daisuke's lips were soft and tasted of chocolate.. his favourite snack. His eyes widened in shock, but he slowly wrapped his arms around me and kissed back. We kissed long and lovingly.. he pulled away.

"..I.. I can't do that.." he said, looking at the floor.

"I know. I just wanted to know what it felt like.. to be kissed by you." I smiled. "..It was wonderful.. I'll keep this memory close." I stood up to leave. He grabbed my arm.

"Maybe just one more.. memory.." Daisuke pulled me down into another kiss. As our arms wrapped around each other and our mouths met in love, I knew that there would never be a finer memory than this day. Even if we could never truly be together- this kiss.. and the ones that followed would forever implant themselves in my mind. I would never again run into the rain...

_-Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul.  
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness.  
Endless rain, let me stay a memory in your heart.   
Let me take in your tears, take in your memories-_

finished

Oh wow! I wrote that all in one night.. it's getting late.. so the end may be shitty.. but.. whatever. I may write a sequel.. but it most likely wont be in first person. Near the end of the second dream I started doing something else. When I came back to this I forgot to write in first person.. the whole last part of the dream was third person and half the dream was past tense. I wanted to the dreams to be present tense. -sigh- anyway.. if you guys liked this and if you write fanfiction of your own.. you may wanna check out my fanfiction contest website. The link is in my profile. I have a Digimon Adventure contest and some cool prizes.. heehee. Anyway.. look for a few new Digimon fanfics heading your way... and sorry for all the Hikari fans who didn't like how she was in this.. uh.. I may re-write this in the future if I find that it's not as good as I thought.. so.. please tell me what you think!


End file.
